When your sex drive has driven off…

‘I just can’t be bothered…’

‘I couldn’t care less about sex…’

‘Sex drive? That’s driven off a fair while ago…’

 Are the sorts of things women have said to me over the years.

 Very often they are also exhausted, worn down and depleted of passion in general - just making it through one day at a time and falling in to bed at night.

 Sex drive has rhythms and cycles that ebb and flow with our female cycle. There are usually times of the month when libido is high (for many women, around ovulation and before menstruation) and other times when it’s lower.  This is natural, despite what the movies portray! We cannot expect our bodies to be humming with desire and romance every moment of every day!

 On the other hand, it can be distressing when your natural rhythms and desires drive off altogether, leaving you listless and indifferent.

 Or have your listlessness and indifference created this reality? It’s a bit of a chicken/egg scenario.

 Many different factors can contribute to a low libido; these are some of the common ones:

 Hormonal changes –

 Our libido is connected to hormonal rhythms and changes so will naturally ebb and flow with your hormonal landscape. If your hormones are out of whack, this will naturally affect everything else - energy levels, mood, emotional health and libido.

 Stress –

 Overwork, stressful times and stressful thinking do not lend themselves to a thriving sex life. It’s usual to have stressful times but if daily life falls into a long- term stress pattern it can affect your libido and you may need to look at ways of reducing stress and creating more space to connect with yourself and your partner.

 Emotional/mental health  –

 A healthy libido grows from feelings of love, belonging, safety and trust. This is crucial in relationship to your partner and also in your relationship with yourself. If you are unhappy with how you look, your body, your confidence or your relationship with your partner – it will naturally affect your desire.

 Medications

 Some medications (for example, certain anti-depressants) can affect your sex drive. If you have any concerns do bring them up with your prescribing GP.

In my experience, low sex drive is not something women bring up initially. It’s easier to talk about other problems - hormonal chaos, mood swings, low energy…

 But as they go on, it emerges as part of the story

 – I wish I didn’t shout so much; we’re not really getting on… we have zero sex life

 And it’s not just one more thing on the list; it’s a great loss.

 Libido is not just sex drive; it encompasses intimacy, connection, freedom communication, pleasure and joy.

 To see a woman regaining all of this, reigniting her passion and her fire is an absolute joy for me. Over time, with natural remedies, emotional wellness techniques and stress release work this is what happens.

 Gradually and consistently her energy levels rise, her indifference reduces, her relationship becomes less fraught and her libido returns. It’s part of a whole picture.

 If this is something you’re struggling with, consider the different factors above and you may find you already have the solution or you know where to start looking.

 If you would like more support and are looking for a natural, holistic approach, I welcome you wholeheartedly. You can contact me directly by email or use the booking service on my website.

 x xx Siobhán

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Image thanks to Luke Stackpoole on Unsplash